This is a collection of quotes taken from my high school classes. Not an original idea, I saw it on someone else's website and copied it (if I ever track it down again I'll link them!) and decided that since my teachers said funny things I'd write them down too. This did lead to a problem when near the end of year ten all of my teachers knew about the book and after they'd said something witty they'd start to ask whether I'd written it down...
Context and meaning is hugely important so I've made annotations at the end of some quotes and linked a whole bunch of Wikipedia articles to allow people who weren't present for the quote to make sense of them.

Apologies for the quotes that were only funny in the moment. I was present for all of them and even I don't find some of them funny reading back over them!

Sorry you don't get time to finish this, but look on the bright side: [insert name] is drawing a maze.

teacher: Look at her, she's white.
student: She's always white.
teacher: Well, whiter than white then.

student: Still, it looks ugly.
teacher: Have you been looking in the mirror again?

Wandering around being lost for a while is really important.

Don't go there, it's like the collective wisdom of Nikki Webster.

I'm not getting at you for saying it, it's a quick critique. So why is it the brown stuff?

teacher: We would have to spend about ten years of excursion money to get this guy in.
student: Yeah, we'll have a jelly bean drive.
teacher: I don't think that would quite cover it.
student: Well, then we'll have two jelly bean drives.

One that demographic is up and mobilised you can't stop it.

It's like, we're going to show you this movie - in sound. (media class, we'd seen a lot of silent movies by this stage and had just moved into the beginning of movies with sound)

Oh good, nice to see you're on time today too.

All good teachers can teach everything... except maths.

student one: Are you still connected to your feet?
student two: Connected?
student three: No. He hasn't spoken to them in weeks.

I'll make sure I leave the door suspiciously open.

If those two disappear I've got a bit of a problem.

Let's just ignore step one for the moment.

I'm going to draw on a piece of paper, I hate drawing on the board.

You're not being demoted to the house group, you're being rearranged.

Rule number one: always assume that any microphone near you is on and that people are listening.

Can I just say that the glasses are so I can see what you're doing.

When you all start popping Es and listening to music, do it in your own time.

We learned about electricity and how to make it more efficient and less harmful for the environment... how did I start this sentence?

He said: 'I'm going to tie you to that chair," and I'm like: 'And I've got the rope.'

Let me show you how wrong you might be.

I don't know but it was damn funny.

It's so embarrassing when we take him out.

I like short skirts better than long skirts. (this comment was made completely out of nowhere!)

student one: Malvern isn't Toorak.
student two: Of course not, they're spelt differently.
student three: Well, if you rearrange the letters... no.

Rupert Packer... if Rupert Murdoch and James Packer got married they'd be twice as rich.

I don't want anyone else leaving the class, I'm scared they won't come back.

It's page 25, but it doesn't have a number so it's between pages 24 and 26.

If this is just the fumes what do you think will happen when I put them together in a jar?

They've poured so many weird chemicals down here that they've rusted the sink.

The flame's scary, you put it on. (everyone loves bunsen burners!)

I am going to get showered in lime water, it's not deadly; just unpleasant.

I'm not going to draw it there, I'm just going to kind of put it there with a texta.

Let's do the bottom one because we haven't done it yet.

It's doable but it's horrible.

Which I could try to explain to you but would just confuse you.

I want that paper that will fit into my folder and stay there without sticky tape.

I'm not going to consider that question now, it's just going to hurt me.

I was being helpful, he was being disruptive.

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